Not a Little Star XD

Okay.. now, 3:59am.

I went jogging again this evening.. astaka of coz.. with my Mp3 player. (it’s actually just my Nokia 5300(-.lll))
Jogging is really great exercise you know. you can jog anytime, anywhere .. alone.. just as you like..  without so much fuss of inviting partners,time setting and all that. Then i also found out that music can really add to the joyous experience by taking away boredom/aloneness(i wouldn’t call it loneliness ahaha), and i concentrate better with the companion of my favourite songs! you should try out also k..
Music + running = winning combination !

oi!oi! come back to astaka!
oh sorry, i’m talking about this evening at astaka. kies.. I was running half way sweating like a mad cow (<- not the main point) when this song caught my attention instantly! fell in love with this song at first hearing, an extremely sweet and inspirational little tune! very catchy song indeed, you really shouldn’t miss it, find it out urself la..this stupid fs blog can’t post mp3. these are the lyric..

Lil’ Star by Kelis featuring Cee-Lo

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
If it seems like I’m shining brightly
It’s probably a reflection of something you already are
I forget about myself sometime
When there’s so many other around
When deep inside you feels darkest
That is where I can always be found
That is where I can always be found
That is where I can always be found

Pardon me, this is a pointless, "just-for-the-sake-of-blogging" post (-.lll)
sorry for wasting ur time reading it.
4:57am, time to go back to the bed.
Good night to the world!
yawn..~~ ZzZZZZzzzZZZZzzzZZZzzzzZzZzZzzzzZzz…

Arsenal- The Only Choice

Yuhoo~~~Found this on net!
Hold! hold!! your saliva dribbles down! XD

me: ok la.. whatever. Btw, if Arsenal is the only choice,then what for asking me!!!
bro: Hehehehee..
me: you really crazy la!! #%$&^$@%$^%..

Tell me, what makes him so consistent in his loyalty, dead set on Arsenal?
I’m thinking this… if men can treat their gf/wife just like the football team they support of, we girls have no more tears loh~~~

I HATE THE WORLD TODAY

Okay.. okay.. OKAY!!

I know i did this once in my chinese blog, but .. who care?? I can do this
EVERY MONTH do u reckon?!

Ohya, the
story goes like this…
Fever and Flu are good friends. They came together for a visit 10  days
ago, unfortunately, they’re just not welcomed. I shouted, i yelled, i howled, i
defensed, i fought back, i flooded them with warm water, i fed them pills, I ignored
them with longer sleeps,  I rebelled
against the Double F! However, the efforts i put in was not sufficient to
resist their invasion. They stayed  for a week long, finally left , and
eventually… the storyline climbing to its climax when this Bloody Hell’s intruder-PERIOD
break in!

I was powerless to resist… I
knew she gonna stay as long as she likes/wants/need. I am very sick during my
period. Lucky me..  get all the symptoms that
you studied in your high school biology textbook. Stupid Menstrual Cramps,
headache, ovarian pain, joint pain, fatigue, sleep problems, difficulty
concerning… dizzy.. moodiness.. and the
feeling of constant nausea. I actually throw out my organic lunch yesterday  at the carpark. That make my day real shitty!  Ok.. 1^st, the food is expensive and
I wasted it. 2^nd it’s so so so embarrassing to keep my brothers
waiting me just because I have to puke! 

the worst thing is I couldn’t sleep at night! I tossed and turned all night because
I felt so cold even I wrapped myself up like a bak zhang(rice dumpling) it’s  that kind of cold that gets into the bones. Period
makes me so paranoid that I waking up so frequently to make sure that I didn’t
bleed all over my bedsheet!

Argh..I should have known
better… It never rains but it pours!!!
Imagine a BLOODY Period after 7
days of Fever+Flu!!

Why do we girls have to bleed for days to get rid of one fucking egg?

I do believe that men should have this curse, but not us the so very Adorable-Lovely-Angelic creatures(ahha) ,because they deserve it more than us! Think of their disgusting
faces when throwing us the PMS jokes! They had a total blackout whenever they nastily
making fun on PMS, that they’re all from the uterus of origin! The organ that
causes us so much of pain!!

I hate behaving like a  period-monster!
I hate scared off my brothers
and friends!
I hate lying on bed wondering
if the ovaries trying to climb out from me!
I hate to bent my body while
walking to minimize the pain!
I hate called my dates off
because I’m on period!

Si Water came down KL then back to penang then KL and
going back penang again tomorrow and I still can’t make us a meal together! Not
to mention  the  Malaysia open live match.. Movies.. cold drinks.. I missed so much these two weeks!

Yea yea yea.. i’m whining like a self-pitying melodramatic rebellious
teenager(opps,not anymore) and being really sarcastic these days (T.T) Maybe
everyone felt the sickness and get it as painful as me and maybe they’re all terribly
brave to face the misery and not complain. By the way, AGAIN, who care who care
WHO CARE?? I’m in pain and I just want to shout it out, that’s it! What?
Unauthorized?!

Calm down.. calm down.. this is
not me. Don’t let the Period monster haunts me..

Should think this way..
Thanks to my period, i have swelled  a little ,lost  few pounds..
which means..  I can Eat and  Drink like a Cow during Chinese
New Year!! Wahahaha…

(quite a lot of vulgar words in
this post, good girl don’t learn. I have been trained**big grin)

Find the Man Out!

Quite busy recently.. Less than 4 hours sleep for over whole week. How fortunate, pimples are still hiding beneath the Epidermis.. anyway， ‘only’ dark circles are enough to kill me!!!

So much of driving.. so much of travelling… so much of talking… so much of thinking…. yet, so little of sleep!!

Argh.. Argh … Argh…. Argh……

I really need a change (@.@)

but the condition i’m facing now fails me. I just feeling like wanna clear my throat and SCREAM:

But I’m a creep ~~
I’m a weirdo~~~~~~~
What the hell am I doin’ here~~~~?
I don’t belong here……~~

I don’t care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul~~~~~~~~

yeah.. you got it. Radiohead - Creep.

This song is awesome , and fucking amazing. And Thom Yorke he read my mind 10 years ago!! It is me, He just wrote out my feeling!!

argh, enough of these mumbles and grumbles..

A lovely fren of mine mailed this over to me days before and it makes me LOL.( coz i couldn’t find the man out which means i’m brainless XD)

Well, quite interesting. Just post it out for sharing.

Carefully look at the picture below and try to find a man in it.

************If you find a man in 3 seconds then your right brain is more sharp than normal people.
If you find him in 1 minute then your right brain is developed normally.
If you find him in 1-3 minutes then your brain is slow in reacting and if you take greater than 3 minutes then your right brain is extremely slow.

One thing which is surely, there’s really a man in  there!!!

Enjoy~~ XD

Maximilian Hecker

Maximilian Hecker - This guy produce the perfect nighttime music , after which listenning to, you die. At least i die. No suicide, no murder , just death. Death because the song itself is so enormous, or enormously beautiful, that u feel nothing else to left, but to die..

His music is filled with fragile jewel, so soft.. yet so strong , that they’re sure to melt the iciest heart. 

Should i use ‘beautiful’ to describe maxi perfect voice? yea.. beautiful, I think it’s the most appropriate term. The first time i listened to Maxi, was his Snow. The song was puristic, i would say a wonderfully melancholic listenning experience. Erm.. too beautiful to let go , even if it brings up painful memories in the past. My only recourse is to surrender to its plentiful charms.

Download link

Snow - Maximilian Hecker

I am falling now - Maximilian Hecker

Summer days in bloom - Maximilian Hecker

Help me - Maximilian Hecker

Infinite love song - Maximilian Hecker

Wakakaka!! ^^

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you’re very thoughtful But you also haven’t stopped thinking of yourself You’re the perfect blend of independent and caring You’re a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Deep breath

Eventually fall sick after the whole nightmare.

I know i was spending my whole 20 years on falling in sick, and keep moaning to water on this. But, it is .. just not the right time. Not when everything is in a real mess. Have been telling myself that i need a steady mind and strong body to go through these. But.. i’m tired… just too tired…

I think i’m failing at the whole mind , body and soul connection.

Time has its way of telling you for stop fucking up, take the right path to live on. So does your body. That’s why the fever come..? perhaps this is the message from my body telling me it’s time for a rebuilding and reinventing.

I’ve always preached that we have the power to change our own lives. So, i’m now drinking my own advise and soaking up the wisdom of serenity. and.. why not take some deep breath and send some light and good thought?

My eyes ache and i want them closed….

I’m going to inhale … the healing power of universe

exhale… the sadness that taken me

find my soul again… write in shade… do some sit ups… jogging in the wind… sweat a little.. believe believe believe…

4th May

4th May

17 shops burnt down at Pangkor’s town. Nothing left but ashes.

3am - I was at my second-floor bedroom typing the last goodbye to the last person on my Msn. And , just about to switch off the light when i heard a loud door slam and there was a great commotion downstairs. My first thought was - those drunkards were rioting in the street as usual. But the noise was getting a bit much and enough to wake the dead, i was then alarmed that something went wrong..

I trotted down quickily..

It gave me a startle when i opened the door, people running shouting and slamming door to door. BLANK. my  mind was all BLANK.. I just stood there motionless watching the sudden choas for moments.. until an indian ran to me and shouted Api Api!! I ran back to wake my parents and brother up .. i think they could see the fear in my eyes and my shaky voice.

I can’t really remember what goes next.. mum was in her room snatching her jellwery? Dad need to get those important documents out… bro .. i wasn’t know.The only thing i did was reaching my old closet to save out brothers’ and my childhood photos. Those can’t be replaced once burnt out.

We got out in half an hour time. The fire was already blazing the 4th shop. Bro and me managed to get in again in the dark to save out our laptops. So, old photos and laptop. Only 2 things that i could think of at that critical moment. Dad says we could save more out if we weren’t that panic. well.. safety comes first i would say.

Panic , fear , sadness , shaking , crying…. for the next few hours.

A charred shell and collapsed porchs were all that was left of a row of 17 shops..

Besides, what do you expect?

I really felt so sick when i received messages that saying we still have a house in sitiawan and we have enough money to rebuilt a bigger one and the burnt house was really old and it’s time to move out…

It wasn’t just a house. It’s our HOME. It meant a lot more.I was living there for all of my 20 years.. It sheltered four generations of our Beh family… my memory bank.. my warm nest…

sigh… nothing much…

maybe next time.

mY childhood photos that i Saved out from the fire

Star Thought

Cheers my dear fren , when the star shines.

leaning by the window sing me our song in the starry night.

I shall hear it , when the alcohol dye my cheeks.

Time flies …

we eventually comes to the age that i thought it was far to go

unconciously, i walked in the valley.

Solitude it comes along and taps me on my shoulder.

Should i ignore it , walk away with the faith holding in my hand.

or

answer it , with deep grieve ?